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Don’t Be Silenced

Don’t Be Silenced

As I sit here, typing this post at quite literally the last moment, (this blog goes up as soon as I finish typing it and figure out how to post it to the site) I am still not sure what to say about being a woman that writes sci-fi and fantasy. But I can tell you what it is like in my personal experience to be a writer. And I just happen to be a woman, so woo hoo!

The thing that I do, maybe not the best but definitely the most, is I Mom. I am a mom first. Four boys. Which keeps me busy on any given day, anyway. These boys of mine like to eat, and drink, and play video games, and watch YouTube, and have very recently gotten into playing Dungeons and Dragons. We play it as a family. And so I need to feed them, at least once a day (we are working on independence in eating, like making sandwiches and stuff, with the youngest at this point. He is 8.)

And this past week has been a stressful one because the youngest was diagnosed with influenza A and has been home sick. We also had a snow day yesterday, so that made chaos at the house too.

BUT if it wasn’t for my youngest child, and my life as his mom, I would most likely not be published. Ever. I am a writer, at all, because of him.

Here is my big old back story about why I was never going to be a writer. A lot of women I know have been in abusive relationships. Men too, but as I am a woman and this is my experience, it is what it is. I was in an emotionally and psychologically, and sexually abusive one. The biggest thing that happened to me, that impacted me, revolved around my writing.

This guy threw my writing away. My journals, my stories. And the ones that he didn’t throw away, he edited. Secretly. I still have a copy of a journal of mine in which he literally crossed out what I wrote and wrote a different version of the events. And even though the writing was his and not mine, he told me I did it. Writing, for me, had always been personal and mine. If I wanted someone to read it, I gave it to them. Never before had I felt that my writing had been so violated. It was like a piece of my soul, torn out. And I stopped. I stopped writing, not trusting that my innermost private thoughts were for my eyes alone, anymore. It broke me. For a long time.

I got rid of him, eventually, but the other damage he had done took a long time and lots of therapy. But I still couldn’t write. I had lost confidence in it and in me. I spent ten years not writing, and I felt like a piece of me was missing. Because it was. I had always wanted to be a writer. I wrote my first book, “Just Me and My Mom” like the Mercer Mayer books, when I was young. Creative writing had always been an escape for me that I didn’t have anymore.

BUT that changed.

On August 31, 2012 My world stopped spinning for a bit. My youngest son (who is now 8 and besides the flu, healthy) was diagnosed with Pre B cell ALL leukemia. My baby had cancer. He turned 3, three days later. In the hospital.

I started to write about it. All the things I was feeling, the terror, the sorrow, everything. And it felt right. Not good, because the content was painful. But it felt like coming home again.

Peter Dudar, my friend and mentor, sent me a link to a horror anthology. I wrote a story, but I also submitted a personal essay about my son’s diagnosis. It was accepted. It was my first anthology acceptance and it benefited the National Children’s Cancer Society.

After hearing my son had cancer, which was the most terrifying thing that I could imagine, I no longer was afraid for my writing to be out in the world. Or that someone may reject it. I wrote our experiences so that other families could know that they weren’t alone. I wrote to get out the emotions I had, to spell it out for the world. I wrote to help get funding for childhood cancer research for kids like mine. I wrote because it was something that I hadn’t seen much information on, having thought that pediatric cancer was rare. It isn’t and I really wanted people to know that. And that the treatment was a planned three and a half years. (it ended up being closer to three, but still…)

I kept writing. I kept submitting my stories. Fiction stories. And I had some accepted. To date, I have been published in six anthologies and I am still going. All my publications have been in the horror genre, but last year I finished my “baby.” I finished writing a high fantasy novel and am in the process of edits. I am also working on an Urban Fantasy/ epic fantasy/sci fi/ghost novel . And I have a mystery novel written and am working on edits for that.

I have been called a “horror hag” during women in horror month. I have gotten into some big kablooeys during Women in Horror Month. Several years, in fact. But none of that scares me anymore. I just keep writing. When my 8 year old isn’t playing on my computer, anyway.

*Note. I do not recommend waiting for a cancer diagnosis or something like that to clear you of your fear of putting your work out there. Just do it. Every “no” response to a submission is just a sign that you are working and writing. That you submitted it in the first place. And that is something to be proud of. Don’t let ANYONE steal your words from you. I spent too long living like that and wasted ten good writing years.

April Hawks lives in a small Maine town with her husband, four boys, two bunnies and a Tomato. She writes a bunch of different genres, but she just finished her “baby” a fantasy novel and is revising it before she sends it out of the nest. April is a frequent and often obnoxious facebook poster and is on twitter and Instagram as well. Find more of her work on her Amazon Page.

On Being A Woman In SFF, Or How To Be Your Own Self-Rescuing Princess

On Being A Woman In SFF, Or How To Be Your Own Self-Rescuing Princess

I’m often asked what it’s like to be a woman in the male dominated field of publishing. The best part about being a female author is that there are so many woman-focused organizations that truly are welcoming to writers at every stage in their careers. I’ve joined local and global organizations dedicated to advancing female authorship, and I believe that networking is the best thing an author can do for herself.

The not so great parts about being a woman in publishing are similar to the hurdles women face in many organizations: glass ceilings, unequal representation in industry awards and publications, and receiving less compensation—either via royalties or one-time payments—than their male counterparts. One way to leap over these hurdles is to become your own self-rescuing princess.

What is a self-rescuing princess, you ask? It’s a woman who stands up for herself. She’s not the damsel in distress waiting for someone to rescue her. This lady hikes up her skirts and does her own rescuing, thank you very much.

Remember that scene in Star Wars: A New Hope when Princess Leia calls out Luke and Han’s abysmal plan to rescue her? She didn’t wait for them to figure things out. Instead she grabbed Luke’s blaster and shot out the grate to the garbage chute. Leia didn’t wait for anyone else to hatch an escape plan, she made her own. That’s a self-rescuing princess.

You don’t have to wear your hair in symmetrical buns to be as bad ass as Leia. Being self-rescuing boils down to three basic concepts: asking questions, standing your ground, and walking away if you have to.

Did you receive contract that contained some confusing language? Ask for clarification, either from the editor, your agent, or your more experienced friends (more experienced with contracts, that is). Google it if you have to. Never, ever sign anything you don’t understand.

Did you ask a publisher (or editor, or agent) a question, and they never responded? Ask again! Many woman won’t follow up for fear of being seen as bossy or difficult. Those same traits in men are called confident and assertive, so go ahead and assert yourself and confidently ask all questions you need to.

Is the organization you’re dealing with refusing to work with you?  First, ask yourself if your request is reasonable; we all need to work together, and no one wants to be known as the writer who demanded the equivalent of a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown candies removed. Assuming you are being reasonable and they aren’t willing to negotiate, don’t be afraid to consider ending your working relationship with them. If you haven’t signed anything and they’re acting shady walking away might be for the best.  No publishing deal is infinitely better than a bad publishing deal, trust me on this.

Be warned: if you have signed a contract things get trickier and you may need to enlist help from outside sources. Don’t take the possibility of violating your contract lightly, since there may be severe repercussions for you. Having said that, don’t allow the other party to violate it either.

Thanks to #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, and all the brave people who have shared their stories, we are going into an unprecedented chapter in history where women’s voices are being heard and respected like never before. What a great time to be a woman.

Jennifer Allis Provost writes books about faeries, orcs and elves. Zombies too. She grew up in the wilds of Western Massachusetts and had read every book in the local library by age twelve. (It was a small library.) An early love of mythology and folklore led to her epic fantasy series, The Chronicles of Parthalan, and her day job as a cubicle monkey helped shape her urban fantasy, Copper Girl. When she’s not writing about things that go bump in the night (and sometimes during the day) she’s working on her MFA in Creative Nonfiction. Her latest releases, the urban fantasy Gallowglass and the sequel, Walker, are available wherever books are sold. Connect with Jennifer online at

Superheroine Creators in Comics

Superheroine Creators in Comics

Being a woman in comics requires you to be your own kind of super hero: a powerful mutant, strange alien, or arcane magical creature. You need to develop armor-like skin, unshakable nerves, and brass ovaries (metaphorical brass ovaries – trans comic ladies know all about the struggle, and then some.) The female comic-creator must be willing to work hard, constantly develop her skills, and promote herself relentlessly; all while deflecting irrelevant questions, graciously taking criticism, and not throat-punching people who feel it necessary to question if she’s really into comics at all.

For most of its history, the comic industry has been something of a boys’ club. The reasons why could be an entire doctoral dissertation, so I’m really not going to attempt to get into them here. However, women have always been involved as creators, editors, and readers. Romance and slice-of-life comics were big business in the 40s through the early 70s, and were primarily aimed at women. Women being a big audience didn’t stop female creators from facing an uphill battle, however. Dale Messick famously had to adopt her androgynous pseudonym in order to stop her portfolio from being passed over (since no one was interested in hiring Dalia Messick) in order to be hired to create the ridiculously long-running comic strip “Brenda Starr.”

While a handful of really amazing women have long graced the mainstream of comics (writer Gail Simone, and artist Lynn Varley immediately spring to mind), ladies have also been churning away in the alternative scenes. From Wendy Pini self-publishing Elf Quest to Trina Robbins representing in the underground Comix scene, women have been pulling their weight and doing incredible work throughout comic history.

And now we have webcomics – a comic form that has seen a larger percentage of female creators than any movement before. The great thing about webcomics (about the internet in general) is that anyone can jump online and put their work out there. Even better – anyone can jump online and see your work.(Yes, okay, I know it’s not quite that easy; believe me, I have seen my own site’s analytics. But in essence, this is true.) There is no editor to gloss over your portfolio because of your girly name, no prickly comic shop owner to make new readers feel unwelcome, no chief executive to ponder if “special interests” like half the human race are worth trying to sell to. It’s just the creator and the quality of their work.

Just kidding! This is the internet! Where people delight in burning each other to the ground for things so trivial as existing, having opinions, and getting milkshakes. As we all know, existing as a woman on the internet can be fraught, and comics are no exception. Webcomics and social media have given women creators so much more opportunity and audience than they have ever had before, but with it comes all the pointless obnoxious criticisms (this is just dumb girly stuff), attacks on credentials (what do you know, you’re not even a real comic nerd), and the possibility of being the target of the next coordinated Whatever-Stupid-Thing-Gate should you dare ever speak up for yourself or in support of your peers. Polish that armor-skin, ladies; we can get through this.

This kind of constant challenge to female comic creators is not limited to online interactions. There are still far fewer female comic creators employed by the Big Two than there should be. Those that do work in the mainstream tend to be completely amazing, (have you checked out the awesomeness that is G. Willow Wilson or Erica Henderson?!) in part because they have to be. Despite what some people think, female creators do not get hired just to add token diversity to the payroll and the bar for women in comics, as in many male-dominated fields, is just so much higher. Time to call on those super-powers again to make sure your work is always stunning!

Personally, I have always found the greatest test of my super-human nerve and patience to be in-person interactions. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to comic conventions and shops and meeting prospective fans, gushing about our favorite books, and finding new comics to get into. However, if one more person asks my husband if these are his comics while I’m literally sitting RIGHT THERE I think my head might explode. (I personally don’t think he looks much like an “Amanda” but maybe I’m missing something.) Similarly, assumptions that I must have gotten into comics because of manga (nope) or other comic-fans trying to prove that they know more than me about comics (I have a Mother-Effing degree in them, but okay, sure dude) wear thin. My unshakable nerves need more training, I think.

I definitely don’t want to sound grim; comics are an unbelievably powerful storytelling medium and I love them intensely. There is good news out there: the fastest growing demographic of comic readers is women aged 17-33, there are multiple small comic publishers specifically looking to promote women’s work, and despite how disruptive the handful of trolls can be, the overwhelming majority of comic professionals and fans absolutely stand behind and come to the defense of comic women who get harassed online. As much as we are required to muster our powers and fight now, we are slowly winning the battle. We are forging a better future for women in comics, and everyone else along with us.

Amanda is the primary writer and sole artist for Age of Night.  She lives in a cabin the woods of Maine where she works on AoN and many other freelance art projects.  Between drawing and fending off bears she enjoys cooking, listening to music, watching movies, analog gaming, exploring the outdoors, and playing with her sons and her cat.

New England Speculative Women

New England Speculative Women

It is with great pleasure that the New England Speculative Writers recognize the contributions of women writers in Fiction. Despite making up 50% of the world’s population, a study in 2010 by Vida (an organization for women in literary arts) showed that women are less likely to be reviewed, obtain awards or be the story focus in literature. An informal survey by Tramp Press showed that authors only listed female writers as inspiration 22% of the time. But despite this, women have and will continue to produce amazing Science Fiction & Fantasy. For the month of March, the New England Speculative Writers’ blog will be dedicated to providing an unhindered space for women to speak about topics pertaining to the field of Science Fiction and Fantasy.